niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
laugh-addict: I just realized that “lead” rhymes with “read”, but “lead” also rhymes with “read”.
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
kyladian: imgonnariverdance: IT ALL STARTED FROM AND NOW I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS WEBSITE I laughed more than I’m willing to admit..
fergusmacleod13: suklaaaa: bunnyinafez: iwantfitbody: madamedepompador: winchesterwolves: moniker-padacklyte: zillystring: wasereborworthit: mellowminty: pizzaforpresident: petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’ what about alaska are we then normal canada canada a bit to the left What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada? i...
I wonder if the Westboro Baptist Church will get written about in history books like the KKK does now. Part of me hopes not, because I hate giving recognition to people who are so full of hate and malice; but part of me hopes they do, so no one forgets what people had to put up with to get what they had. Maybe it’s not as drastic as the discrimination faced by minorities 50 years ago, but...
The Universe is Weird - Hank Green
A quark is a fundamental constituent of matter Observed in nineteen sixty eight through deep elastic scatter We found that protons aren’t as simple as we thought We thought they were solid particles but they are not Protons in fact are made up of three separate pieces It just gets more confusing as our knowledge increases But that is what a quark is, it’s a piece of a proton And they...
chraystmaseve: omgoswin: kylesbogusjourney: Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex. Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer. Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive. #OOOO FUCKING OWND YOU GOT FUCKING SLAM DUNKED SON YOU’RE GONNA...
russianmadness: thefaceofbro: jagged1: discopeanut: bansand: nice gender did your mom pick it out for you No, my dad did. #Because that’s how fucking chromosomes work “What?” I literally scrolled past this and then scrolled back up real quick to reblog because I finally understood the joke.